HOLY CRAP!

Can you believe it, the semester is already over and I have done a miserable job of keeping up with this damned blog. Alas. I had been busier than expected this semester, but I think it's all in a day's work of being a senior in college.

Only ONE semester left! I am officially losing it. I think I will be checking into a mental institute to recover from my nervous breakdown. Yes. I can see it now.

Holy. Moly.

Anyways, I am home now, in the warm warm California, where the sun keeps on shining and makes me glad for once that I can come here to get away from it all.

In fact, I went out with my mom for 6 hours today, shopping and whatnot, because afterall, it is Christmas. And, I think I won imaginary 50 dollars today - sweet.

My thoughts are coming in at spurts, so bear with me.

All this thought on graduating and what not makes me think about a lot of things, as I'm sure the lot of you are going through as well.

We've become bon-a-fide adults, you and I - when the hell did that happen? Can you believe it? Can your parents believe it? It is hard to fathom that we are 20-22year-olds that are struggling, once more, to stand on our own, this time in the real world. Holy Crap.

Some of us have already graduated early, or is planning to graduate early - good God- WHY?! Though, in the end, it is likely to be a smart move... I don't know, I'm trying to prolong my youth here! Help me out!

I know so many with plans for the future, and whether or not they make it come true for themselves... well, let's say I have great faith in them. I love that my friends are such goal oriented people - though some may not admit to it... Yet, because they are so ever ready, makes me feel so unready. It's a sickening feeling to realize that you have no idea, at this point in time, whether you have a future or not. While waiting for my letters to come, I will be concurrently developing an ulcer, that will be my demise. I must say that I do not care for this uncertainty, because I have become quite well adjusted knowing what is coming after next semester.

Do I have a back-up plan? No... Though there are possibilities, nothing seems to be set in stone. I can't believe that I am even thinking about this future. I don't really want to, but it just pervades my mind like it's alcohol. It makes me drunk with fear. FEAR.

Anyways... i suppose I should talk about something more cheerful, like... the holidays...

It's the holidays! what more can I say? We love our family for a bit, then we argue, then we love each other again. Is there really anything else? :D

Anyways... Happy Holidays Everybody!